Cerebus

This article is about the character. For other uses, see Cerebus (disambiguation).

Cerebus was an aardvark warrior, politician, religious leader, bartender and professional Five-Bar Gate player.

History

Early Years

Cerebus was born in Sand Hills Creek in northern Estarcion in either the year 1384 or 1385 to Joseph Cerebus and his wife. While living with his parents, he stole a kitchen knife from his mother. A young boy name Trevor took the knife from Cerebus and stabbed him with it.

His parents sent him to live with the magician Magus Doran in Imesh when he was nine years old.

Cerebus studied with Magus Doran for three years. During this time, Cerebus first ran the gauntlet of the Energy Globes of Imesh. Cerebus got an elf mad at him during this period.

Mercenary Years

Cerebus falls in love with Jaka

Cerebus' early adult years included a stint as a tax collector. At this time, he lived with his first girlfriend, Michelle. After she dumped him, Cerebus travelled around Estarcion, working primarily as a mercenary and sword-for-hire. It was during this time that he met many of his early friends, including Bear.

On his travels, Cerebus met Red Sophia, who would go on to become his first wife, after being hired by the wizard Henrot to accompany her on a journey, came upon the enigmatic Elrod, met Bran Mac Mufin of the Pigts and found (but soon forgot) the love of his life, Jaka Tavers.

Politics, Religion and the First Ascension

After falling in with Lord Julius' government in Palnu, Cerebus started working his way around the Palnu bureaucracy. Losing all the money he made, he met Astoria, who helped him get the money he needed and win the election for Prime Minister of Iest.

After losing all Iest's money to Lord Julius and only saving the city from the conquering hordes by being friends with them from his mercenary days, Cerebus "retired" to the Countess Michelle's house.

Getting some money from Michelle, Cerebus left, only to wake up married to Red Sophia and, according to Weisshaupt, he was once again Prime Minister of Iest. It didn't last long, as he soon found himself appointed Pope of the Eastern Church.

Being recognized as Most Holy, Cerebus made it his mission to collect all the gold in Iest. Different factions vied for control of Cerebus and the gold, but he outwitted them all by jumping out a window. He raced towards the top of the tower, to participate in his first Ascension.

An Aimless Life and the Second Ascension

After returning from The Moon, Cerebus walked around in a stupor only to stumble upon Jaka and her husband Rick. He spent some time as their house guest, going by the pseudonym "Fred". He left one day to get paint, and when he returned, everyone was gone and the tavern destroyed.

Thinking Jaka was dead, Cerebus camped out at a bar for a few days. When he heard a Cirinist soldier talking about Jaka, he snapped out of it and started killing Cirinists. People began hailing the return of Most Holy. Along with his return to power, Cerebus met with the real Cirin.

He found himself outside the papal building with Astoria and Suenteus Po. They went inside to have a talk with Cirin. Po and Astoria had their say and left, and Cirin and Cerebus fought for control. In the fight, Cerebus lost an ear and the throne broke off from the room and Cerebus' second ascension began.

Life in the Bar and Going Home

Upon returning from his second ascension, Cerebus spent quite a few years in a bar by the Wall of T'si. He met up with his guy friends there: from Bear to Mick to Marty. Eventually they all ended up with women, and Cerebus was left tending bar.

All he could think about was leaving the bar, his new girlfriend Joanne, and going north. When Rick showed up, Cerebus had several talks with "girly boy" which formed the basis of The Book of Rick.

One day, Dave showed up and had a talk with Cerebus, leaving him a "gift". Opening the gift, Cerebus looked up to see Jaka walk in the door. The two left together to go to Sand Hills Creek. Along the way, they met up with F. Stop Kennedy and the Ernestways: Ham and Mary. When the couple finally reached Sand Hills Creek, Cerebus' parents were already dead. Cerebus, ostracized by the townfolk, then broke up with Jaka.

The Final Years

Cerebus headed even farther north to try and kill himself, but ended up tending sheep and eventually became a professional Five-Bar Gate player. After that career ended, he headed south into Cirinist controlled land to attempt to die by their hands. Opening "Fred's Tavern" he was spotted by the Three Wise Fellows, who captured him.

They eventually released him once he said the words they'd been waiting to hear. Cerebus led his new followers on a quest to kill all the Cirinists. After they took over, they cleansed the land of unworthy women and men.

Cerebus spent several years as the ruler of the land, and was brought the Torah by a fellow called Konigsberg. Cerebus read it and dictated his interpretation of it. When he finished Genesis, it was revealed that he had married a woman who looked a lot like Jaka. She eventually called herself New Joanne and she and Cerebus had a child: Shep Shep.

When Cerebus heard of Shep Shep's plans, he grabbed his sword and lept out of his bed, only to fall and break his neck. Upon which he made his third and final ascension. He saw all his friends in the light, and Bear, Ham and Jaka were waving him towards them. After realizing that Rick was not among them, Cerebus yelled for God to help him as he was taken into the light.

Skills and Traits

• He had a magnifier effect on those that surrounded him, just like all aardvarks.

• He appeared to have no soul. However, it may have been located in a different place than a normal human's soul.

• He had a great fondness for apricot brandy.

• Though small, He was deceptively strong. He was capable of breaking sturdy chains.

• He had developed quite a lot of muscle in his oversized snout and tail, and was capable of using them as fighting limbs.

• He had very good night vision.

• His fur smelled truly awful when wet.

• He seemed to disdain the use of armor (except for an occasional helmet), probably relying on his speed, skill, and small size to protect him.

• He was one of the very few right-handed swordsmen in Estarcion, which may also help to explain his success.

• His theology was well indicated with his thoughts "Tarim, Ashtoth, these were gods... They brought war, pain, they killed without reason or apology." Cerebus was himself bloodthirsty towards his enemies, and vindictive when he could get away with it.

• He was an expert con man, and skilled at quickly making up mostly-plausible "facts" to support his schemes. This, combined with his great personal charisma, made him an impressive political figure.

• He was often plagued by curiosity, and would frequently enter situations that he *knew* would get him into trouble.

• Cerebus had a "complete lack of expertise" in warfare, gradually realizing this fact.

• People found Cerebus difficult to decribe.

• He was at one point the number 6 crossbow man in Estarcion.

• His greed was one of his strongest traits. "All Cerebus wants is more money than anyone else has."

• His mother appeared to him in a dream.

Quotes

• "Cerebus has always said that you're only as good as the people carrying out your orders."
• "Most wealthy people are wealthy people first and whatever else they are second."
• "It would put pressure on governments to be more responsible about their debts and loans . . .Cerebus hasn't met a whore, yet, who could abide giving anyone credit."
• "One less mouth to feed is one less mouth to feed."

Dave Sim on Cerebus

• "Above all, I would ask all of the readers of Cerebus to remember that Cerebus himself is trying to learn to adapt to a world not only _he_ never made -- but one that very few individuals have managed to adapt to gracefully. His simple pursuit of money, physical comfort and frivolous pastimes is becoming something of an albatross in the thriving new capitalism -- it becomes too easy for him to achieve his goals because his sites [sic] are set so low. The reaction at the moment is restlessness and a basic rejection of everything new in his new society. Whether Cerebus molds the environment to suit his needs or whether the society manages to change Cerebus (he hasn't slept in a tree since issue #5) is what I'll be exploring for the next two hundred and seventy-four issues."

• Dave: "He was born in 1385, you know."

• Q1: Cerebus decides to go by the name "Fred" because he no longer feels entitled to use his father's last name which, as it turns out, is Cerebus. So, is our protagonist's full name actually Fred Cerebus, son of Joseph Cerebus, or is this a pseudonym? If it is a pseudonym, did you ever settle on Cerebus' real first name? (i266/LD p15)

DAVE: No one ever asked me about this before.

It doesn’t really specify one way or the other in the actual text but my own impression was always that Cerebus was an unwanted child. Was it here that I mentioned that my mental image of his father was of the gorilla in the old Bugs Bunny cartoon where the stork gets drunk and accidentally delivers Bugs to the expectant gorilla family? The gorilla father takes one look at the “newborn”, disappears off screen and comes back with a club ready to put it out of its misery and is only prevented from doing so by the mother gorilla. That was the kind of childhood I pictured for Cerebus. The only difference being that Cerebus’ mother’s maternal instincts were sufficient to keep his father from killing Cerebus but she was about as thrilled by him as his father was. As a result they didn’t give Cerebus a first name, they just called him Cerebus as a kind of reminder that he was both their responsibility and their cross to bear. I assume that their choice to provide for him and keep him alive was entirely religion-based and the decision to not give him a first name would stem from their resentment of the fact that God had stuck them with this midget freak. Not giving him a first name would be as rebellious as they would allow themselves to be.

Cerebus picked the name “Fred” because of Fred, Ethel and the Little Fellow with the Hair. Since his physical sexuality had always been pretty ambiguous he would take any opportunity to identify with the masculine option—in this case picking Sump Thing over Woman Thing.

• I don't know if I've mentioned this elsewhere but the over-sized, crew-cut Cerebus of Latter Days was based on Ariel Sharon. I had been mulling over for years what the battle-scarred military veteran and largely inexplicable survivor and even more largely inexplicable over-achiever that Cerebus was going to be would look like and then there he was, Ariel Sharon in a news photo from the late 1990s. Sheer appetite run amok to virtual cartoon-like obesity but still not a guy you would even dream of taking a poke at if you saw him in a bar. Hey! Just like Cerebus! The sort of fellow who could pretty much single-handedly start an Intifada just by strolling up to the Temple Mount to have himself a little look-see. Hey! Just like Cerebus! I was and still am a big admirer of Sharon in spite of all his self-evident flaws (his personal and self-admitted culpability in the prison camp massacre in Lebanon – only Sharon could cause a prison camp massacre by just sitting still and doing nothing) (Hey! Just like Cerebus!) as I tend to be a big admirer of all the Jewish Warriors of the first "THIS Year in Jerusalem" generation who fought their way out of the corner ropes with every rabbit punch, eye gouge, right cross and left hook they could cobble together out of cast-off French military equipment, God-fearing bravado and genuine heroism. The history of the Jewish state from 1948 to 1967, to me, is living proof of what the Jews can accomplish when they align themselves with God and how irretrievably stupid it is for non-Jews to try to get in the way of that.

• "My intention at the time was that Cerebus did have a soul, but it isn't in the same place that is in a human being: thus the succubus' confusion on the point. Since I have no idea where the soul is hose in a human being, this was a s close as I could get to imparting the particulars of that nit-picky of aardvark trivia."

• 16. Why did you decide to make Cerebus a Hermaphrodite? Follow-up: why, having chosen to do so, did you use the fact that he/she/it was a hermaphrodite so little?

DAVE: I'm not sure that I did decide to make Cerebus an hermaphrodite. It was only once I cracked the he/she/it "they" of Genesis that I figured that a lot of the early Cerebus was being written from God's side of the fence to suck in YHWH by making he/she/it think that this Dave Sim character was one of hers and that I was going to reveal a number of secrets he/she/it would find useful. I think I was being given knowledge that would, effectively, bait the trap and one of them was doing a he/she/it character which was a misspelled variation on Cerberus, the three- headed (that is, he/she/it) dog that guards Hades (i.e. the middle of the earth). I think a lot of our world functions in that way. We are unconscious vehicles for either and/or both teams. I didn't use the fact very much because it wasn't really of interest to me, except as a literary device, to have a character on the borderline between male and female in a huge story composed of a male cycle and a female cycle. But, I think that fact wa probably what interested YHWH the most—he/she/it kept waiting for me to tell him/her/it something interesting about him/her/itself.

External Links

• Entry at Turtlepedia